Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Forgiving Yourself

I thought I wanted to have a fashion blog, I was wrong. Don't get me wrong I love fashion and love shopping, but blogging about what I'm wearing and actually having to keep up with it just wasn't happening. So I decided I'm gonna do what I want with this blog, not what I think will get me views, but just what i want. What I want right now is to explain happiness. One can't really explain happiness  you might say, yes this is true but I've recently discovered what makes me happiest and I want to share it with all of you or none of you depending on if anyone pays attention to this Irrelevant blog.
I, like most eighteen year old girls, have no idea what I'm doing half the time. I go to school, do my homework, get yelled at by my parents, eat my feelings and party maybe a tad too much. However I also find myself in one of two moods, hating everyone and bathing in self pity, or elated and thinking of all the things that make me happy and dreaming of how awesome life can be. I really prefer to feel the latter of these two moods as anyone would guess.
 Lets just get this out there, I've made quite a few mistakes and they were weighing on me, bringing down my mood by huge amounts. I cheated on my now ex-boyfriend. You can call me a horrible person, I did for a very long time. I felt i had no value anymore i had hurt him so much, and i had broken one of the ten commandments. I was dwelling on all the bad, I was letting him say terrible things to me, i felt i deserved it. Though many of you reading are saying in your head, "hell yeah you deserved it". You are right and wrong.
Happiness comes once you forgive. I asked for his forgiveness months later, and he gave me that, I still don't think he meant it but he said he forgave me. This was not the forgiveness I was looking for though. I needed to forgive myself, I needed to love myself again. Thats what this blog is for. To share with you my secrets to happiness. They may not work for you, but they may give you ideas to try in your own life. I have since forgiven myself and Don't worry i will share with you exactly how I ddi this.